Summer is fast approaching its end. Yes, I know that it is still only July, and yes, I know that theoretically Summer goes through the end of August... technically there is still a month plus of summer. My sister is leaving to go back to Hungary in just three short weeks for the beginning of their school year, and that just makes it feel as though the summer is coming to a rapid end.

There is also the tiny little fact, that I don't have school anymore. That seems like a big "Hooray!" but it is actually quite terrifying. At least when you are in the process of University and Higher Education, you know what you are doing... what comes next.

For example, at the end of the school year you sign onto the school website, and check little boxes for courses that you need/want to take, then click the little "Add Course" button and it shows up on your little schedule. Three months later you sign into that same little website and pull up the Student Course Schedule and see all laid out for you in pretty little black and blue letters, exactly what the next 16 weeks of your life is going to consist of: Course A from 9:30 to 11:00 On Tuesday and Thursday, B from 10 to 11 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, etc. Everything is laid out pretty and neat for you. Everything is planned. Everything is pretty straightforward and self-explanatorily.

Post-College life is not that cut and dry. Granted, I am seriously excited that I have finished with my Undergraduate degree. Someday I may even go back to school to get some sort of Master's degree. But right now... it is terrifying. I know that I have said that God is in control. Somewhere in my brain, I know that God really does know what my future holds. But right now I feel like there is a vastness of fog in front of my eyes.

Just once, a few months ago I felt completely at rest on this issue. I admitted to myself and God that I feel completely unqualified for my future, whatever it may be. I also acknowledged that I can do nothing on my own. God has often chosen those who don't seem to have the necessary qualities for their job, but God choses them, and then qualifies them... just look at Moses. (Of course God also put Aaron into Moses' path ot help him along the way. God does that, gives us friends along the way who can help us where we fall short... and boy do I fall short.)

Anyway, after I made those concessions (is that how you spell that?) God, and told Him that I was just going to trust him to qualify me for whatever He had for me, I went to bed. The next day was possibly the best day I have ever experienced, there was peace. Even on a day that should not have been peaceful! It was wonderful.

Of course since then I have had a tendency to take the stress and worry back onto myself and then I just end up feeling like I am tied up in knots, not knowing which way I should go, or which path I should pursue.

This brings me back to my initial point. Fall is fast approaching. I told myself that I would start looking for a 'grown up' job at the end of the summer. Now I still don't know which path to take. I feel like I don't even know which path to start looking for. Maybe I should just follow the leads that the Lord has already given me... that is probably the best place to start.